Pornography/Sexual Addiction - Becoming Well Institute

Pornography and Sexual Addiction

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

Can’t stop looking at porn, even if you want to? Is the obsession getting to the point (or at the point) that it interferes with work, relationships, and other parts of daily life? Are you fantasizing about pornographic images while having sex with your partner? You are not alone. In 2019, the top site for pornography recorded 42 billion visits — that’s 115 million visits a day.

SEXUAL ADDICTION

Sexual addiction has been given many names over the years, including hypersexual desire, hypersexuality, and sexual compulsive disorder. To put it simply, sexual addiction can be described as a person’s lack of control over some sexual behavior that negatively impacts his or her life or the lives of others.

SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION COMPLICATIONS

Failure to get help for a sex or pornography addiction can lead to complications such as:

Guilt, shame, and low self-esteem
Mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts
Neglect of your partner
Damaged or lost relationships
Loss of focus at work
Job loss from watching internet porn at work
Debt from buying things to support your habit
Trouble with drug and/or alcohol abuse

It’s important that you and your partner seek the advice of a trained professional if an addiction is suspected. However, here are some signs and symptoms to look for:

SIGNS OF PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

Porn becomes a central part of your life. You replace things you enjoy with watching more and more of it.
You neglect personal care.
Activities that were once fun become uninteresting.
You spend less and less time being social.
It damages your relationships.
You neglect other responsibilities.
It affects the quality of work you do at your job or at school.
You start looking at it in places that aren’t appropriate, like work, restaurants, walking in the park, social gatherings, or school.
Your sex life starts to seem unfulfilling.
You often fantasize about pornographic images while having sex with your partner.
You have an intense craving for more.
You can’t seem to stop looking at it, even when you try.
You can’t quit even though you don’t enjoy it as much as you once did.

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION

You have a preoccupation with sexual thoughts
You spend an extraordinary amount of time around trying to get sex
You exhibit shame or depression
Compulsive masturbation
Decreased engagement in spiritual or religious activity
You engage in risky and/or inappropriate behavior
You are secretive around internet and/or phone usage
You cheat on your partner and/or have a history of cheating on your partners
You commit criminal sexual offences
You exhibit sexually compulsive and/or obsessive behaviors
Your partner complains about their sexual behavior
You have difficulty finding sex partners who desire having sex as often as you do
You have failed to quit unwanted sexual behaviors
You hide your sexual behaviors from others
You use sex to escape from problems
You feel depressed after having sex
You feel controlled by their sexual desires
You often feel that their sexual desires are controlling you
You have a sexless marriage

*Approximately 15% to 20% of couples are in sexless marriages – meaning they engage in sexual activity with their partner 6 or less times per year. Although a sexless marriage does not always signify marital instability or unhappiness, it can be a symptom of living with a sex or porn addict.