Menu
Healing is a process that takes time. It’s important for the loved ones of men who are healing to understand that. Maybe you imagine your guy smiling and acting in healthy ways days from now. That’s not going to happen.
Trauma happens quickly sometimes, but healing isn’t an overnight change.
Put yourself in his shoes. He’s probably been traumatized for a long time, maybe in part because he was so afraid of asking for help. Now that he has that help, he’s on the path to healing. But all that shame and pain take lots of work to undo.
My own healing process definitely wasn’t quick. I took many different steps before I started feeling better. And each step wasn’t necessarily easier or harder than the last.
I was lucky to have the support of my wife and sons throughout that process. It’s long and sometimes painful, but it’s toward the worthy goal of healing. Going through the steps benefited my family in the long run. If I hadn’t done that work to feel better, it would’ve negatively impacted not just myself, but my family also.
So, loved ones of men who are struggling: try to be patient. I know it’s maybe tough to be around him when he’s dealing with frustrating issues. But he needs your support. It’s not going to be a quick fix, but it’s going to be worth it — for everyone.
Get specialized help for intimacy issues and relational trauma with our courses, coaching and resources at Becoming Well.
This site also provides some tips for supporting someone who’s struggling.
How can you dispel the myth in your head of an instant recovery?
By Matt Burton
