You love and trust your partner. You thought everything was fine and then you found out you had been betrayed. Perhaps your partner told you themselves.

Probably the most common question I get from wounded partners in early recovery is, “Why should I have to do recovery?” This question makes sense, considering the fact that someone else’s bad actions are what put us in this place to begin with.

What do you think of when you hear the word “trauma”? In medical speak, serious injury is often called “trauma,” such as head trauma from a car crash.

We like to think of memory as a camera, capturing snapshots perfectly from our lives. And we assume that if something big happens, we’ll remember it – like replaying a video tape.

Think about the last time you introduced yourself, or were introduced to someone by a friend. How long did it take before your job was mentioned?

Healing is a process that takes time. It’s important for the loved ones of men who are healing to understand that. Maybe you imagine your guy smiling and acting in healthy ways days from now. That’s not going to happen.